I'll Fass Your Bender

And today is Michael Fassbender's 36th birthday! Is it just like Hot Stars with Accents Week? Because I'm obviously totally down. Let's phone Mr. President and get this made into a national holiday! I'm counting on you.

Look, this is Fassy, right? Even if you've never thought of Ewan McGregor as sexy, you've definitely thought about Fassy once or twice or all the time. So why torture you with words? Let's get to the good stuff.

 Okay.  A few words. Just because what comes out of his mouth is as lovely as looking at him. Well. Nearly. Objectifying for the win!

"I did [Jane Eyre] because my mother and my sister are really big fans of the book, and I wanted to see what they would think of the Rochester that I would bring to the table. That's the first reason I wanted to do it. I like that the characters are ugly and they're beautiful and they're cruel and they're nurturing. There's so much complexity to the characters, they're so well-written, and I find that interesting. There's ambiguity within the characters, and that's what really attracted me to it, to the performance."

"The problem is, we feel a lot of pressure about looking silly or appearing weak, whatever that means, or being a failure. You have to keep in your head: what's the worst that can happen? I'm trying to tell a story - what's the worst that can happen? You fall flat on your face, then hopefully you get back up again and go for it again and try something else. We're all going to die one day. I'm stealing that off Steve [McQueen]; it's what he'd say when he ordered me to take my clothes off. 'WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE ONE DAY!'"

[on being nude in films and full frontal nudity] "To be honest with you again, I think it's the idea of male frontal nudity. It just baffles me: Women can parade around naked all the time, but the guy conveniently has his pants on. I remember my mom always complaining about that to me, saying, "This is such bullshit, it's always the women who are naked" ... so I did this one for you, Mom

"I suppose the German side wants to keep everything in control, and the Irish side wants to wreak havoc."

"I have a theory that everyone's crazy anyway. And those who think they aren't, are the ones who are even crazier - because they're in denial."

"...but you keep a realism, put AC/DC on, get over it, keep positive."

Also he plays guitar. Do you have any objections to any of this? I thought not.

This is too adorable to be real. Fassy and McAvoy for the win.

He's a natural ginger. And gorgeous. So...you're sold already, amirite?

 

Crushable said it bestest: "There must be photos out there of puppies with this exact facial expression." And so there are.

 

 

I'm sorry this isn't any bigger, you guys. So sorry.

That is what you think it is. You think it's Fassbender and Gosling, right? Right. You're right. That's right. What sweet, sweet righteousness that is.

He's nice looking as a robot. Speaking of, I haven't seen Prometheus, but I did see the promo spot with his character, and I died. Like full-on Rachel Zoe died.

 Ugh, enjoy.

& a vair happy birthday to the Fassbender.

xxx

 

 



Ways I Am Like My Dog

Ways I Am Like My Dog:

• Most people worry and confuse her, but the few that she loves, she loves intensely. While I don't hide under the bed when strangers come over, it's a pretty fair comparison.

 



• We're both skeptics. Them eyebrows are always raised.
• We both have sad little faces. Girl always be looking tragic and I've been told multiple times that I "always look so sad." We always be Grumpy Cat-ing it. But whatevs, cause we be REAL HAPPY. Especially when sleep is involved. We love that stuff.



• She's mad for belly rubs, and I'm mad for back scratches. It's the same thing somehow.
• We're both incapable of eating normally. Food falls out of our mouths all the time. All. The. Time. And we're both picky eaters. She's a strict anti-vegetarian. She eyes veggies the same way Ralphie's kid brother eyed oatmeal in A Christmas Story, except she never thinks it's funny when you do the "little piggy" impression. The way she tries to eat vegetables and then awkwardly spits them out while sheepishly looking away reminds me exactly of every time I've tried to eat sushi ever.
• We both like to go clubbing and have wild nights out. If "go clubbing" is code for "go to bed" and "have wild nights out" is code for "have Redbox marathons".
• We both like to harass the cat because, let's be honest, he's supah fat AND ginger. Double comedy value.



• But we both really love his fat ginger face.
• The snow is like, our favorite. Snow picnics FTW.



• We're mountain girls forever. City what?
• She's a super hot black chick and I'm...no, wait, never mind.
• We both have good hair, although she wins by not being half bald.
• Ugh, we both hate wearing pants. They're the WORST.
• We both breathe funny. Like as weird as our eating is, our breathing is worse.
• We both like never wear color. Neutrals foreva. She like always wears black but I try to mix it up by throwing some gray in there sometimes.

 



But mostly we're perfect for each other because she pretends that it's okay that I somehow always throw the ball behind me instead of in front of me and I pretend that I want to sleep on only half my twin bed because, yeah, she should totally take the pillow.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a girl in possession of a good backyard must be in want of a dog. And that dog shall teach her happiness.

 

xxx,

Tabby (& Noel)

(And in case I've proven our simliarities so well you can't tell who's who, I'm the one in purple.)