Ways I Am Like My Dog

Ways I Am Like My Dog:

• Most people worry and confuse her, but the few that she loves, she loves intensely. While I don't hide under the bed when strangers come over, it's a pretty fair comparison.

 



• We're both skeptics. Them eyebrows are always raised.
• We both have sad little faces. Girl always be looking tragic and I've been told multiple times that I "always look so sad." We always be Grumpy Cat-ing it. But whatevs, cause we be REAL HAPPY. Especially when sleep is involved. We love that stuff.



• She's mad for belly rubs, and I'm mad for back scratches. It's the same thing somehow.
• We're both incapable of eating normally. Food falls out of our mouths all the time. All. The. Time. And we're both picky eaters. She's a strict anti-vegetarian. She eyes veggies the same way Ralphie's kid brother eyed oatmeal in A Christmas Story, except she never thinks it's funny when you do the "little piggy" impression. The way she tries to eat vegetables and then awkwardly spits them out while sheepishly looking away reminds me exactly of every time I've tried to eat sushi ever.
• We both like to go clubbing and have wild nights out. If "go clubbing" is code for "go to bed" and "have wild nights out" is code for "have Redbox marathons".
• We both like to harass the cat because, let's be honest, he's supah fat AND ginger. Double comedy value.



• But we both really love his fat ginger face.
• The snow is like, our favorite. Snow picnics FTW.



• We're mountain girls forever. City what?
• She's a super hot black chick and I'm...no, wait, never mind.
• We both have good hair, although she wins by not being half bald.
• Ugh, we both hate wearing pants. They're the WORST.
• We both breathe funny. Like as weird as our eating is, our breathing is worse.
• We both like never wear color. Neutrals foreva. She like always wears black but I try to mix it up by throwing some gray in there sometimes.

 



But mostly we're perfect for each other because she pretends that it's okay that I somehow always throw the ball behind me instead of in front of me and I pretend that I want to sleep on only half my twin bed because, yeah, she should totally take the pillow.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a girl in possession of a good backyard must be in want of a dog. And that dog shall teach her happiness.

 

xxx,

Tabby (& Noel)

(And in case I've proven our simliarities so well you can't tell who's who, I'm the one in purple.)